Get-to-the-point Malay English (Manglish) versus the Queen's English

I was wondering if you might possibly direct me as to how I might go about paying this parking ticket?

Malay: So how?                                                           

Would you be so kind as to join us this evening for a G&T poolside?

Malay: Can or not?

Why thank you, I would love to join you poolside for a G&T.

Malay: Can lah.

Such a shame, I don’t think I’ll be able to join you poolside this evening; sadly, I have a previous engagement.

Malay: Cannot lah.

Oh, Cedric, how on earth do you think we will find our way out of this traffic maze?

Malay: Where got?

I am afraid Penelope that, given this traffic this afternoon, the circumstances are beyond our control.

Malay: Wat to do?

Good Lord, look at that driver; he appears to be taking over the whole road.

Malay: You, ah...your grandfather own the road or what?

No, please, after all you’ve done for us, we’d love you to have this token of our appreciation.

Malay: Take lah. Take-take.

Oh, I’ve come across something absolutely delicious; I daresay, you really must try it.

Malay: Cuba try? (Cuba = ‘try’ in Malay, pronounced “chuba”)

Score: Malaysia 1, UK nil.